If my husband and I look completely overwhelmed and exhausted in this picture, that’s because we were. Infact we have been since May 21, 2009; the day we became parents.
We became parents in a very intense and unconventional way, and I would like to tell you a little bit about our story…
It was like any other day, we had been on the adoption waiting list through our county for about six months and to be honest, we were losing hope. I was at the grocery store and had almost finished my shopping when I got “the call.” It wasn’t the call we had been expecting, but turned out to be the perfect one for us, we just didn’t know that at the time. I literally left my full cart and hurried home.
The caseworker introduced herself and said she had three little boys that needed a place to stay as an emergency placement because they had no where to go, not even separately and would be sleeping at the office with her that night if we couldn’t take them. I of course called my husband and we agreed. The conversation was a blur for me, so I heard her say there were twins and an older brother but when she arrived at our apartment complex she called to have me come down and help her. Help her? We were only the second floor. So imagine my surprise when I saw two infant car seats and a terrified almost two year old clinging to the caseworker for dear life.
I helped her up the stairs to our two bedroom apartment where our beautiful nursery, built for one, was about to become a home for three! Austin was 23 months old and the twins had just turned 11 months. When she said “babies” I mistakenly didn’t take her literally and in the two hours notice I had, I did not prepare for what was about to happen. Jason came home and was as shell shocked as I was.
By the end of our first week as parents with three baby boys in diapers and sensory issues and developmental delays, we were in love. In just one week I knew I never wanted to be a part from them again. In the back of my mind I knew they could never be mine. Their birthparents were trying hard to get them back. That was the most crushing feeling in the world.
A year when by before things took a wild turn and it looked liked we were going to be able to adopt our three amazing little guys. Then one day in court all our dreams came crashing down and our instant family was instantly gone.
Three months later we got a call on our way out for dinner, our babies were coming home! It was a very emotional time and it took six hours to track them down. Although the boys seemed in a state of shock, they were instantly happy to see their dogs Bo and Spud and wanted to set on mommy and daddies laps. It was one of the best and scariest days of my life, because I knew the fight was going to continue. This time, we lawyered up.
A month later, almost to the day I got a phone call that I never expected. In my craziest dreams I couldn’t imagine the words that would come out of that caseworkers mouth, “----- had a healthy baby boy last night, can he come home?” It’s pretty hard to have a surprise baby when you are adopting, but we had four; FOUR boys at that! Zay came home at three days old. Such a perfect little person. We (including his big brothers) were in love immediately. I always sang “You are my Sunshine” to him and the last line I would say, “please don’t take my Zay-Zay away.” I knew all to well they could take my baby at the courts will.
Luckily on June 17, 2011 our oldest three sons became or “official” children! It was a day of celebration and joy. We had a huge party because the fight had been just over two years at this point and everyone in the family was in love with these three precious little humans!
No one ended up taking my baby Zay-Zay away and at eight months old he too was made “official.”
People often tell us how lucky the boys are that we adopted them, I completely get what they are trying to say; the boys saved us. Wanting to be parents and being denied that by your own body is heart wrenching. When you get the opportunity to transfer that love and affection toward another and be handed the parenthood you had always wanted, DNA does not matter at all.
They gave me more than they will ever know and I know their dad feels the same way. So much pride involved in being the parents of these four litle boys! We are the lucky ones.