Written & Edited by: Manda Jones; Editor in Chief & CEO of Manda & Friends
In every stage life brings us, journey's end and new begin. Our road to parenthood would come to a surprise conclusion. The perfect ending to a wild ride. The beginning of being a 'whole' family. We were completed.
Our baby girl was born on a Friday; July 23, 2010. We did not know about her birth or that she was to be born at all, until late afternoon/early evening July 24, 2010. I had been unplugged most the day. When you are dealing with multiple appointments, court dates, caseworkers, you name it! I was on business hours at this point. I wanted to unplug from them; but the more I see their side of things they probably wanted to unplug a thousand times more than I did.
After getting what I thought was a strange prank call on our house phone, the boys’ caseworker called our house phone. I panicked. She knew I would and led with the fact this random Saturday phone call had nothing to do with the boys. That let my guard down a bit but I was still anxious about what she had to say.
“…healthy baby…the other county is wanting to know if the baby can come home….no because of the boys’ situation they will bring the baby to you…(birth mom) is still in the hospital recovering…I didn’t know she was pregnant either….” Bits of what I remember her saying during that conversation. This caseworker always went above and beyond with the boys. Learning more about all the caseworkers I used to know professionally I see a very tattered system. These people thrown into the literal depths of hell. They have all the responsibility and all the accountability while those above them so easily pass the buck their direction. In order for this beautiful human to come home to me, a caseworker or nurse in a hospital thirty miles away was going to have to take a young mothers infant from her arms. This could not even be possible to do without a great personal toll.
We were nervous as hell about having another child. The twins had just turned two, our oldest had just turned three; a BABY!? I did not know if we could handle it, but we knew we wanted the baby with her brothers.
My in-laws immediately sent us their SUV because our Avalanche had just become to small for our family. She also sent us all the cash she had on her out at the farm on a Sunday. I remember telling my best friend and her being very excited about our new arrival. My cousin met us an hour away from the house that weekend and gave us all her baby clothes, car seat, baby bouncer; everything she had. We still had our baby bath, highchair, pack n play, and such. I bought her first outfit. My mom made arrangements to get to Colorado as soon as possible...
The day we met!
On July 26, 2010 my friend came over from about 45 minutes away to help me prepare. My husband had to work and with baby number four coming home we couldn’t afford a missed payday. We got a baby wrap for me to wear the baby. Grabbed some necessities (forgetting the important things…) then home to await our new arrival.
As we turned towards Canary Lane my friend and I looked at each other when we witnessed two young caseworkers with a bundled up white blanket standing on my front porch. It was my baby. My baby was here. I was extremely awkward; it is not a very natural way to meet your child. I remember the casework literally asking me if I wanted to hold her. Of course, I did! I just was really scattered and a little unsure of protocol, or breaking the baby… I do not know. It was surreal. I remember holding her for the first time and just sinking into peace. She was amazing. She had the hospital cap and shirt on, wrapped in the hospital blanket.
I was actually shocked Kristen had not given her a “going home” outfit. Later I realized it was just too hard on Kristen. She gave me an outfit later and I have always kept it safe for my daughter to have one day.
I remember one of the caseworkers handing me a pre-made bottle of formula to feed the baby. The ONLY one they brought. Another thing my husband had to grab before getting to meet his daughter, that and diapers. Remember, I forgot the important things. The caseworkers did not stay long at all. I gave the baby to my friend to hold, she could not wait, and I needed to explain to the boys how to treat the baby and hold her. Then our oldest got to hold “his” baby. It was almost like he knew; he knew that was his sister. The twins mostly found her entertaining.
The never had a visit all four of them together with their birth mom. I did not even realize that until reading this. The boys never saw the baby with their birth mom. But I always told them she was their birth sister. They knew the baby came from Kristen who to our daughter was “tummy mommy.” Everything has always been very open and honest. It just saddens me that she never got to have all four of them in a room together.
She gave this world another beautiful spirit; I got all the firsts from there on. That is not lost on me.
Although it seems daddy is always there last; its because he was rushing to get home AND get what baby needed. Even though we had significant time to get ready; three days compared to two hours with the boys, we still forgot diapers and formula! He is always behind us; wrapping his strong arms around his family and keeping them before himself.
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